TALK THAT TALK: New Years, New Sex: 3 Things You Must Try


Oh babes.

Got a case of the Winter blahs? I know I sure do. We all have a solid few pounds strictly due to wine and chocolate; lazing around in our onesies and generally moulding our couch to perfection.

When it comes to love and sex, this time of year can be a tad daunting re: body image, general comfort, the seasonal zzzzzzz’s. Sound familiar? If you are dating, married, or somewhere in between I would love to help shake the bedroom up in three easy steps.

Ranked from tame to tantilizing, here are my personal three ideas to keep the sex spicy and reclaim your mojo:

1 — Do It In Public

Do not get arrested. The point is to get excited by doing something taboo; without being a complete law breaker. Ideas: balcony, backseat, against the window in the living room, you get the gist. When we do closeted things in a slightly public way we get a rush of endorphins. Further, it subconsciously pulls us closer with our partner by having to administer a kinky SHHHH before the sexy act.  “Public” can also attest to spots other than the bedroom. The idea is to spark up the intensity that may otherwise be lacking. Heat is generated by excitement. Do it somewhere different. Hello, sex in the kitchen.  Trust me, it’s awesome.

2 — Talk That Talk

Phone sex may be daunting to some.  Valid. However, this is no Quest Chatline. What I am suggesting is casually dropping a few sexy ideas on your partner. If he is at work, you are busy, cannot chat, there is nothing wrong with sending a sexy text describing in detail exactly what they can expect when they are en route home. I have so many girlfriends skittish about telling their boyfriends exactly what they want that evening. Why not? Granted, I would not suggest this practise if you are casually dating, or unsure if he is dealing with other babes. This is strictly for those committed, or who do not have to worry if their texts will be misunderstood. For those freaked? Have a glass of wine and relax; be honest. Men LOVE when you can be open, real, and anticipating. For those willing to Talk That Talk, start with how you are feeling, gage his reaction, and go from there. When you are not able to be together, it can be a nice ease in; and teasing for the next date never hurts.

3– Watch Porn

Before I get the screams, (pun) please read this disclaimer. By no means do I encourage deplorable actions, mistreatment, or anything that constitutes disrespect. I also know that this may not be a comfortable avenue for most. However, I have to exclaim that we (especially men) are extremely visual people. There is no denying that. What I am suggesting is having an open conversation that could potentially include some visual foreplay. My suggestion? Discuss ahead of  time what you both would like to experience — and make full disclosure if there are circumstances that are NOT appealing. FYI there are plenty of women friendly pornography that does not depict any degrading advances. This is not to create controversy — I firmly believe that open and honest couples are the ones that have the glue to make it work. If this this something you would like to explore, and you have had a lull in the bedroom, this is a sure fire way to spice things up.